So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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