My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
