I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
