He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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