they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
