Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
