I'm gonna have a badass scar
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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