I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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