I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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