Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
