did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
