I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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