I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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