I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize