My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
We smell like vodka and hangover
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