i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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