using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
