Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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