Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
