Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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