I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
