Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize
