How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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