So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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