he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
