Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
