honey bunches of taint.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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