Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
do herpes really smell.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
It's never too late to be topless.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
