my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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