i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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