If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
