i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize