if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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