I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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