I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
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