i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
