i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We need a shit load of segways right now
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
