you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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