Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Randomize
