No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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