i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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