I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
