Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
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