thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize