We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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