He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
