giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
