I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
