Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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