think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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