My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
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she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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