Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I had to cum in my sink.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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