But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Sorry about my life...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
