I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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