your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I will pee on everything he values.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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