Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
