he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We had sex on a dog bed..
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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