My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
