hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
