Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Randomize
