Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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