my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
this hospital has no fireball
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize