we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
