the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
