oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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