I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I have aggressive nipples.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
