is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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